Funny, huh, how a small tiny little thing located in your limbic system, the middle part of your brain, called f e e l i n g can make your body physiology not functioning normally?

My appetite has been switching from hungry-not hungry-super hungry-i can ear nothing for 2 days from time to time. Sometimes my heart skips a beat or two, or slowing down it beats, or aching. One time I feel like the happiest person on earth, and another time I feel like crying a river.

But suddenly I remember, one of the hypothesis how the circuit of Papez works, (pardon me I forgot whom invented the hypothesis),

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Menjadi delapan belas adalah simbol kedewasaan.
Sudahkah? Pantaskah?

Dokter gigi saya, sering sekali berkomentar, "kamu tuh sudah kuliah gini lho kok masih kayak anak-anak."

Hm. Celetukan itu membawa saya ke palung renungan yang dalam. Yang ia katakan ada benarnya juga. Saya sudah bisa apa sih di usia lewat akil baligh ini?

Harry Potter, di usianya yang ketujuh belas berhasil menumbangkan Pangeran Kegelapan, Voldemort.

Saya, di penghujung usia tujuh belas, berhasil menumbangkan dua buah tabung reaksi di laboratorium biokimia fakultas.

Pencapaian saya di usia 17 tahun, atau sama dengan pencapaian saya di 2014, tidak banyak. Ada capaian pendidikan, ada capaian olah raga. Capaian rohani juga insya Allah saya dapat, dengan menjadi lebih dekat dengan Allah. Saya rasa seiring dengan bertambahnya umur, seseorang memiliki tendensi untuk lebih giat mendekatkan diri dengan Tuhannya. Atau, itu hanya terjadi di lingkungan pergaulan saya?



Maka, di tahun 2015 ini saya harap saya bisa menggapai lebih banyak lagi mimpi-mimpi yang bergantungan di langit. Satu yang saya garis bawahi, harus melihat dunia luar! Exchange, backpack, summer course, semua, you name it. Dilematis juga sih, saya sadar bahwa kehidupan perkuliahan sangat amat menyita waktu dan......jika saya menundanya, well, mau jadi dokter berapa tahun lagi? :(

So, hello adventurous year, welcome 2015!

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What to do when you probably had one of the worst day of your life?

Today couldn't have been worse.

>=[

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pernah merasa berada pada titik terjenuh di hidupmu?

aku sedang bosan dengan rutinitasku, sekolah-les-pulang-ngerjain peer and so on and so on. sudah 3 kali aku membolos les, dan sore ini aku ke toko buku dengan harapan bisa menyegarkan pikiran sejenak.

oh inikah rasanya kelas tiga.

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susah ya emang punya partner kerja lelet.


ok fine sometimes aku juga lelet, but never for really really important things like this.

buat hal-hal penting kaya gini, aku ngerjain sepenuh hati, berusaha untuk kerja cak-cek, kerja cepat, biar progressnya juga terus meningkat.

masalahnya adalah team kita terlalu sering membuang-buang waktu.

progress jadi stagnan atau malah mundur. horrible isn't it.

and you know what my mind rebels at stagnation. ga bisa mikir.

in the end, aku yang capek sendiri.

but no, i refuse to give up.

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that moment when you feel a huge guilt washing all over you when you realize you have overspent your parents money and you think that you actually didn't deserve it.

someone please punch me in the face.
someone please punch me in the face.
someone please punch me in the face


guess i have to do my best on the upcoming exams to not disappoint my parents.

FIGHTOOOOOOOO!!!!

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Sigh.
Why do I think alot when I have exams and also other kerjaan the next day?
Why do my brain cells only work when I have many things to do?
And why am I here when I am supossed to be studying Chemistry?!?!!!!1111


Oh. That's life. Keep questioning.

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Writer's block.

Seperti tembok beton tebal yang menghalangimu melihat kejutan di baliknya.
Seperti batu-batu besar yang menahan aliran ide ke dalam benakmu.
Seperti roket mutakhir tanpa bahan bakar.
Seperti saat pertama kau bangun dari tidurmu; segala yang kau lihat mengabur.

Writer's block.

Kau samar-samar bisa melihat buah manis idemu
Kau mengerahkan segala upaya untuk memusatkan pandanganmu
Namun
Semakin kau berupaya, semakin penglihatanmu mengabur
Kau menggapai-gapai idemu dengan frustasi
Yang kau dapat hanya kekosongan

Writer's block

Ide itu ada dan tiada.

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Crowd. Buzz. Speed.
Streets coming fast.
One after another.
I was standing in the side.
Waiting for the crowd to be less.
For the right time to cross.
And then there was you.
In the car, head popping out of the window.
The wind waved your hair.
You shout my name. Loud.
You shout the name of the man I don't love.
When you passed me.
My jaw dropped.
You laughed. So wide that it reached your eyes.
It was not magic.
But the crowd dissapear.
Just you and me.
A while in forever.

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this entry is gonna be cliche. and pointless.
you've been warned.



All people have known, or have been told hundred times; that everything in this world comes in a pair. but where's my other half. 
Right and left.
Yin and yang.
Smart and dumb.
Beautiful and ugly.
Tall and short.
Man and woman.
Geegee and Lucas Piazon.

Ok  ignore the last part.

Everything comes in a pair. Not because the other one is worse so that one could stand out and shine and awe everyone. And the worse one is ignored by everyone. Or maybe it is............in some cases. Get my point? It's ok if you don't.

Everything comes in a pair, so that human knows what does 'being grateful' mean.  If you never experience being sick, then you wouldn't value health.

Everything comes in a pair, so that the balance of the world doesn't tremble. And the world stays forever and ever in the equilibrium point.

Everything comes in a pair, because God cherishes us.

Like now. I am on my holiday. Have nothing to do. It's sickening if you don't have any activity, just laying here and there. Having excess sleeps. Gah. I prefer to have many many many activities so I can have a good resting time. Trouble is a friend? Yeah.

I think that's one of God's ways to take care of us.

Emang enak tidur kebanyakan.

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Tik Tik Klik

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New blog. Yea. Still under construction.

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